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Post by Maddie on Nov 8, 2007 13:25:44 GMT -5
I just thought this was funny, so I decided to post it ^.^
Dog Diary vs. Cat Diary
The Dog's Diary -8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing! -9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing! -9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing! -10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing! -12:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing! -1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing! -3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing! -5:00 pm - Dinner! My favorite thing! -7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing! -8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing! -11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!
The Cat's Diary
Day 983 of my captivity.
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little> dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.
The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates my capabilities. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. Bastards!
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage. Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow, but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released, and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird must be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now... [/blockquote]
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Post by Jared Mayson on Nov 8, 2007 13:36:12 GMT -5
LMAO !!! Omg xDDDDD I LOVE the cat. *pets kitty* you shall be released meh luff *evil cackle*
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Post by Maddie on Nov 8, 2007 13:38:07 GMT -5
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Post by *~Leigh Hartman on Nov 8, 2007 18:33:51 GMT -5
Dogs are so funny.. That made me think of my dogs...
But I think our cats are stupid.. All they do is sleep infront of the refridgerator...........
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Post by Maddie on Nov 9, 2007 14:18:25 GMT -5
My cat, if she could write, would totally be the one to write that diary entry. Sans the bird. We don't have one of those. [/blockquote]
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Post by *~Leigh Hartman on Nov 13, 2007 15:49:18 GMT -5
Would you like to have my bird? He knows some very...interesting words.
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